Energy and The Park

Over the past few days it is overly obvious that we have a problem. Primarily it's me. Arabella doesn't get enough attention from me. Adam plays with her in the morning but then I'm left with two children, under two, for the rest of the day. Being that Evan nurses he gets a different quality of attention I suppose. It's our time, we bond, he smiles and spits milk everywhere, but it's our time and it works for us. Arabella has to be on standby when he's nursing. He's in the "distracted too easily phase" so I ask that she keeps her distance but that sucks for her. She's just interested in him getting his milk and wants to see what's going on. But I keep shushing her and making her stand back. That's where the t.v. comes in "handy" and I hate it. I wish I had more energy to expend, I wish that things were different, but wishing isn't going to make them so.

Last night I had a melt down, me a Mommy, and you know what, I had every right to. I spend the morning with my husband and children and we try to get some quality couple time in a few short hours, but when you have children it's next to impossible. Then he takes off for bed after lunch and I have two children to tend to; make sure they get fed, bathed, ready for bed, put down for bed. Then I have to tend to myself and shortly following that I'm back to nursing Evan, getting Adam up for work, then Evan back down and I go through the nursing routine a few times throughout the night. Have you noticed I didn't even mention chores such as laundry and dishes. It is exhausting being a parent. I'm not looking for sympathy because I understand I'm not the only mother in the world. I understand I'm not the only one who has two children, thirteen months apart. I am however NOT everyone else. I am me and it is taking a toll on me. It is taking a toll on my relationship with Arabella. But I am adamant that it changes. And we, after talking with Adam, started that change today. There's a lot more to it than I'm divulging but I am short on time as the kids will be up soon from their naps.

It may seem like the "everyday" thing for someone else, but it's not something we get to do too often. We took both kids to the park as a family. To make things even sweeter there was no one else at the park...it was so peaceful and we didn't have to worry about bigger kids trampling Arabella. I must say the walk did us all some good. Evan fell asleep on the trip back home. Adam decided to take the kids for a longer walk so he kept going and I stayed at home in silence. It was nice. About twenty minutes later he came back with both kids asleep in the stroller. Awesome! Finally, we were able to play with Arabella and wear her out and not have to fight for a nap. Without further adieu, here are some of the nearly 250 pictures this morning.

Getting ready to head to the park

Evan seems excited about the slide

Arabella, she's good at sliding on her own.

Evan and his first adventures on the slide.

Daddy's little girl.